If you know me, you know there are two things I can't shut up about: quilting and mental health. Hello! They are so intertwined!
A little backstory: I started quilting when I was struggling with postpartum depression. I needed to do something creative to offset the endless care tasks that made me feel like I'd lost my humanity. I quickly realized that I'm SUPER good at writing patterns.
But I didn't turn it into a business for almost a decade. Motherhood was challenging enough without trying to build a business (it's still a daily balancing act!). Also, the postpartum depression never really went away, so I spent several years trying to figure out what was causing it (spoiler: it was PMDD, and I did manage to reverse it with herbs + supplements).
As I learned more about my own mental health, focus, and spirituality, I realized that they were all connected, and I was able to put a set of data on WHY.
As I started journaling my energy levels, I realized that my hobby was an integral part of my healing journey. I'd always felt it, but having the data helped me put it into words.
I had some cycles and habits that I wasn't proud of: going "all-in" every time I discovered a new hobby, burning my business to the ground every time I got depressed, and losing my shit every time I had too many things on my plate. I knew the ups and downs weren't healthy, but I didn't know how to stop them. But finding the underlying reasons for these cycles? Was game-changing.
Here are the top tips that helped me find balance and use my hobbies to improve my mental health, not run from it:
The Goldilocks Effect
The key to staying engaged is to have a project that's not too hard and not too easy. If it's too easy, you won't focus on it and you'll end up ruminating. If it's too hard, you'll spiral into negative self-talk ("I'm so stupid, why can't I do this?"). This happy-medium ground is where we find our Flow Sate, or that space where time seems to stop. It's also where our minds and bodies are in synchrony, so our creativity has a clear channel to flourish.
Dopamine vs Serotonin
Did you know that hobbies can boost two essential brain chemicals: dopamine and serotonin?
Dopamine is linked to feelings of seeking reward. It's the anticipation chemical (contrary to popular belief, it's not released when you get the reward, it's released when you anticipate the reward). You get dopamine from activities that make you excited:
Buying new supplies
Researching new hobbies
Starting a new project
Finishing a project
Serotonin is vital for mood stability. It's the underrated player in the craft industry, and for a very good reason: dopamine sells products, serotonin sells, well, nothing. It's what provides the focus to work on things even when we don't have the dopamine to be excited about them. Serotonin is like a muscle: you have to work it to strengthen it. It's easy to work on something when the dopamine is energizing you, but the benefits of increasing Serotonin are SO worth the effort. To increase Serotonin, practice working on something even when you aren't excited about it. The beginning and ending of a project are exciting, but the middle can be a slog. Work on it anyway, and after awhile you'll notice that you are more attentive and mindful when you aren't dependent on Dopamine to get things done.
It can help to have a mix of 2-3 projects going on at the same time to help balance dopamine and serotonin. Just don't go overboard with it, you'll end up overwhelmed by all the half-finished projects!
Avoid Social Media + Shopping Traps
With the rise of digital distractions, it’s easy to fall into habits that hurt our mental health, such as endless scrolling on social media or impulsive shopping. These behaviors often stem from a craving for instant gratification, which can heighten anxiety and make us feel bad about ourselves for not being able to "keep up."
I have a hard-and-fast rule about social media and online shopping: it's only allowed for 15 minutes at a time, and only between 10 AM and 8 PM. And I never do it while my husband or kids are in the room. They get my full presence! This leaves mornings and evenings for slower, more mindful (and productive) activities.
The Soothing Power of Rhythmic Movements
Have you noticed how soothing repetitive actions can be? Activities like knitting or sewing can bring comfort and ease anxiety. Research indicates that these tendencies can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps you relax.
There's a reason for this: when we were cave-dwellers and had to consistently fight for our lives, we had to delineate between danger and not-danger. Activities such as sewing, stirring food, and rocking back and forth were a sign to our nervous system that we were in not-danger, so we could relax. Now, we are overwhelmed with stimuli (our body can't tell the difference in feeling left out of a craftalong and being chased by a bear), so we are constantly in low-level "oh sh*t" mode.
Hand sewing, crocheting, and knitting are all great rhythmic movements that calm the nervous system. Having an easy, soothing pattern to work on (that's not challenging!) is a great way to reduce anxiety!
Set Realistic Goals
This one was huge for me!
I would start a quilt, and wouldn't be able to relax until it was done. Those open loops in my brain were a problem! A friend recommended breaking projects down into smaller chunks so I could feel accomplished every day, even if I didn't finish the entire project. She was right! Now I write down what I want to accomplish each day, and I get the satisfaction of checking off an item even if it's small.
This is LIFE CHANGING for busy moms!
Be Willing To PLAY!
This is the biggest piece of advice I can give to crafters looking to improve their mental health.
There is SO much pressure in the craft industry:
Instagram makes you think everything has to be perfect
You wonder if you should turn it into a business
You're terrified to make a mistake and "ruin" good supplies
But really?
It's YOUR hobby.
If you're worried about making mistakes, you are feeding the anxiety monster!
Let. Yourself. Play.
Ruin something on purpose, then throw it away. I promise nobody is going to yell at you. Once you break the cycle of doing it "right," you're free to learn and grow and thrive.
Let it be fun, relax, and pretend you're a kid again. What does "little you" want to create?
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